I just got back from Kentucky.

I am getting married October 3, 2009.

We need to go grocery shopping.

I get out of work at 3 tomorrow.

Does that sparkle with you?


-Shae

I got into the Wayne State School of Social Work...for my masters. Holy fuck.

--Shaena

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43959

In regards to our gas bills;)

I'm at work...meh.

I get to be one of Meri's bridesmaids.

I hope I get into grad school.

Graduate in April!

I am all about the randomness.

--Shae

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the
restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's
Restaurant.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our's down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station
there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the patrol car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
mention the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.

Came to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following words:

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and
they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
harmony and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All right now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's Restaurant

Why am I the only person that seems to know this is a Thanksgiving Day
Tradition??

"making sweet love to my roommate next to the burning fire in the fireplace and doing my orgo homework..."--Jenni's away message.

Made our first fire...but apparently the chute wasn't open. May smell fire-like here for the next few days.

This weekend was fun, minus today's all day study/homework-athon.

Friday, concert rocked. Rivers actually moved on stage. Dave Grohl is damn funny. Beer being spilt down mine and Lauren's backs, not so cool. Mike and Jerry getting two assholes kicked out, awesome. And yes, I will repeat it again. My favorite part of the show, besides "El Scorcho," was Scott Shriner dedicating a song to his dad, who was somewhere out in the crowd...right in on the stair in our aisle. He had the biggest grin on his face, and wiped away a tear. I was proud for him.

I am jealous of Jenni's chair...that took a bit of an adventure to get it all the way home and into her room. Including getting hit on by a 40 year old black man who is employed by the Salvation Army.

I wish school was over. Six more months and I will be graduating. The mean time is starting to get to me. The five 12+ page papers, impending applications to grad schools, the GRE in December...

Other than that, all is well. I am good, happy, still in love. Ha.

Night,
Shaena

Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years


CHICAGO—The longtime search for self conducted by area man Andrew Speth was called off this week, the 38-year-old said Monday.


Speth sets out on a new life, moments after announcing the end of his search.
"I always thought that if I kept searching and exploring, I'd discover who I truly was," said Speth from his Wrigleyville efficiency. "Well, I looked deep into the innermost recesses of my soul, I plumbed the depths of my subconscious, and you know what I found? An empty, windowless room the size of an aircraft hangar. From now on, if anybody needs me, I'll be sprawled out on this couch drinking black-cherry soda and watching Law & Order like everybody else."

"Fuck it," he added.

Speth said he began his search for himself in the late '70s, when in junior high he "realized that there was more to life than what [he] could see from [his] parents' Dundee, IL home."

The search initially showed great promise, with Speth's early discovery of his uncle's old Doors records and a copy of The Catcher In The Rye. Over the next two decades, however, the "leads just petered out." Although Speth searched in a wide variety of places—including the I Ching, a tantric-sex manual, and a course in chakrology—he uncovered nothing.

"My family and friends kept telling me to give up," Speth said. "But I couldn't believe that my true self was forever lost."

Speth was dogged in his pursuit, sacrificing his higher education, bank account, social status, and personal esteem. Despite the rising costs and mounting adversity, he vowed he would never give up his search—until now.

"I can't believe how many creative-writing courses I've taken, how many expensive sessions with every conceivable type of therapist," Speth said. "All that time—a whole life—wasted on a wild-goose chase."

Since calling off the search, Speth has canceled his yoga classes, turned in his organic co-op membership card, and withdrawn plans to go on a sweat-lodge retreat in Saskatchewan. On Tuesday afternoon, he loaded books by such diverse authors as Ludwig Wittgenstein, Meister Eckhart, and George Gurdjieff into a box labeled "free shit," and left it outside of his apartment beside a trash can.

Speth tours Prague in 1991 at the height of his search.
"The only books I'll be reading from now on are ones that happen to catch my eye in the supermarket checkout line on the few occasions I leave my apartment to buy more Fig Newtons," Speth said.

Speth said he will no longer lament his coding job at Eagle Client Services, but will rather "embrace the fact that I have a job that makes enough money to pay for cable." Additionally, Speth has vowed to marry "the first woman who will have me, whether I love her or not."

"Oh, and if I never throw another goddamn clay pot in my life, it'll be too soon," he added.

Though hardened and haggard from his long search, Speth expressed relief that it was over. Asked if he had any advice for those who are continuing on their own searches, Speth had two words of advice: "Give up."

"Trust me—there's nothing out there for you to find," Speth said. "You're wasting your life. The sooner you realize you have no self to discover, the sooner you can get on with what's truly important: celebrity magazines, snack foods, and Internet porn."

I've been feeling kind of weird these past few days. Sad really, and I can't pin it down to one thing.

I don't know if it was my grandma's death that triggered it, but I can just see all these areas in my life where I'm just not good enough. For her, as of late, I was nowhere near the granddaughter I should have been.

I worry constantly...about the future. What I'm going to do after I graduate this spring. If I will even get into grad school. I should have been studying this entire summer for my two GRE tests..instead, my study guide is still in the back of Mike's car, untouched.

I do not feel as if I am being a good girlfriend as of late either. I get mad over stupid things...I don't mean to, but I do nonetheless. And I care so much...but I tend to mask that with my own insecurities.

And for some reason, these past few days I've been overcome with this crappy lack of self-esteem. Why would anyone want me? From the way I look to how I act on a daily basis. I am not very happy about it.

I don't spend as much time with people as I should. Hailey, my parents, my neglected friends. I don't know where any of my time goes...but not where it should, I suppose.

Fuck. I guess we all need these moments. It gives us a chance to reevaluate everything.

I can keep trying...harder. That's all I can do.

--Shaena

It only hurts when I think about it. Or when I am alone.

I did not even get to say goodbye.

I am a horrible person.

I hope she knows I loved her...even if I did not seem to show it very often.

I'm moving into a house with Meri and Jenni:)

I'm sooo excited.

I want to move out.

But I need money. And a set job for the fall.

I might have to suck it up and wait another year:(

In other news, Mike and I went kayaking Saturday. It was really fun. I proved him wrong with my mad kayaking skills. Yeah, that's right. I did it.

Then we got dressed up...in his car...checked out Cabela's, the beef jerky outlet, and ate at Sibley Gardens.

Hmm...other than that, the holiday weekend was pretty good and relaxing.

Good shit,

Shaena

rameradepaul: god i hate being this way
kielbasacheese: me too
kielbasacheese: i think it's called being hopelessly in love


heh.

My poor Butta:(

A - Age you got your first kiss: real real kiss? 15
B - Band listening to right now: The Pale
C - Crush: Mi Miguel
D - Dad's name: David Howard Holtz
E - Easiest person to talk to: Butta or Mike.
F - Favorite band at the moment: Counting Crows..do I ever stray?
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: worms
H - Hometown: Wyandotte MI
I - Instruments: Piano
K - Kids: 2-3
L - Longest car ride ever: Woodhaven to New Jersey, Trenton to Boston/New York/New Jersey
M- Mom's name: Kathleen Ellen Malott
N - Nicknames: Shae, Sunshine, Shay-Shay, Shaebay, Bayner, Sol, Solski
O - One wish: live a long, happy life.
P - Phobia[s]: public speaking
Q - Quote: "If you've never stared off into the distance, then your life is a shame."-mrs. potter's lullaby--counting crows
R - Reason to smile: my boy, my emma
S - Song you sang last: Jesusland--Ben Folds
T - Time you woke up: 8:50
U - Unknown fact about me: I am pretty unsure about my future a good chunk of the time.
V - Vegetable you hate: green beans
W - Worst habit(s): not telling people when I'm mad or uncomfortable in a given situation.
X - X-rays you've had: teeth, ankle
Y - Yummy food: taco bell
Z - Zodiac sign: scorpio


One more thing...why the fuck is Katie Holmes dating Tom Cruise??

The cure for the common cold?

Go to bed at 8:30 PM, wake up now.

fuck. figured as much.

I am cold. Where are my iron pills?

Today...went to school when there was no class to be had. Talked to my GSI for my crap paper revision. That's what you get to do when you do not proofread. He had horrific breath, by the way. It permeated his office.

Picked up my lab key, to be a kick ass psych researcher and such.

Did dinner and a movie with my dad. Saw The Aviator.

Homework. Gave Emma a bath. Psychotherapy for my Butta. Took wet dogs pics. More homework. Bored. Facebook. More homework. Short attention span. Homework...

-Shae

Got super kick ass ringtones, moved back home, had the best ice cream in the world, and got a puppy all in the same week. Spectacular.


My puppy, Emma.







:)

-Shae

Last night. Fire alarm. 12:30 am. Why? For a massive snowball fight between, literally, hundreds of kids---south quad and west quad. My flip-flop wearing self, not amused.

Eastern is closed, Ann Arbor Public, all neighboring communities, as well as schools around home....

U of M's last snow day, as far as I know, January of '78...entailing 19 inches of snow.

"Shaena is picking her grad school depending on who closes for snow days."
"Is that so bad?"

Bah,
Shae

On lunch break for work...the most hours I've worked in a day, thus an official lunch break.

Last day I should be here, this semester (been home since tuesday), and what was for lunch today? My three favorite things of all time...that can be found within a dorm cafeteria: grilled cheese, tomato soup, and chicken vegetable pasta. Was more excited than anything for C.V.Pasta, haven't had it since last year, and has been my favorite since freshman year. Why am I devoting an entry to food? Because I can. That, and I've been bored out of my mind since 10 am.

Last night, I had every intention of going christmas shopping. Instead, I felt completely sick and awful and zoned out for most of the night. I did pay attention to the first episode of The Sopranos, though. Not so much the second.

Chico, your dad made me breakfast;) Rolled oats, toast, and tea. I love you and your family, mucho.

Work till five it is...

-Shaena